i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We're too hungover to prance.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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