Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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