Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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