Rock
Scissors
Fuck
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
