I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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