So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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