i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
