Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
