We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
