I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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