:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You made out with two different species that night
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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