I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
