For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
