It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
