I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
