yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
