yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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