did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
that may or may not have been my penis.
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