i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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