Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
