Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
