Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
