I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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