Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
