HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
