I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
