Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
