I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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