does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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