I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
