sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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