and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
