Im at strip club and am horny
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
