Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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