Do you still have your period?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
