i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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