So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
