My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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