You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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