I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
