Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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