its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
