only you would photoshop your dick
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want nice things and good sex
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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