And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
