i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
