how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize