I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
