And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
