it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
