she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
