have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
