he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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