Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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