yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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