? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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