I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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