Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
