i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
