Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
