i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
