dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
