Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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