Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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