Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
