he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
