Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
