did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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