Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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