This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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