bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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