Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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