you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
