I am spending my child support on dildos
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize