I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
