Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you win again, gameday.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
