You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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