i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
