apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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